Okay... I had an intriguing conversation with some UT folks about the state of our (black) community on-campus and where/why things went wrong. Well... I'm not a know-it-all and I'm not free of fault either, but having been around since 2004 I do know more than the next person.
So here comes my summation of events from 2004-2009... and my opinions on it... this will be a multipart series, there is sure to be some detail left out along the way... I will corroborate it later... please feel free to leave comments/questions, or if you'd rather them be private, email me at AnthonyD.Williams@Gmail.com and I'll reply to them on the blog while keeping you anonymous. So, here it is:
I came to UT im '04 ready to step out of my shell and define my new self. If you followed my old blog in '05 you got a little taste of what it was like for me. But I'll begin this tale with a description.
UT was the second largest university in the nation when i first enrolled. however only 3.5% of the student population (as compared to 8% of the state) was African-American. This number can be misleading because it doesn't include all African students and it also counts the student athletes that usually opt out of being an active part of the black community (this is not unique to UT).
The year started off with the Black Student Lock-In, a one night program meant to introduce freshmen to other black incoming students, and to the upperclassmen. Something I realized immediately was the heavy Greek presence among them... it was a simple, easy, and so horribly WRONG assumption to make that they were the leaders on campus... I only tell of this to give you perspective on traditions... this will come back up in future blogs.
As far as social climate goes, things were cool. Black Orgs were all at least 25 members strong, and had programs that engaged the student body. We had 6 of 9 active BGLOs (Black Greek Lettered Organizations) on-campus (Iota Phi Theta has never established a UT chapter, Sigma Gamma Rho was re-establishing and Alpha Phi Alpha Fraternity, Inc. was off-campus for hazing ALLEGATIONS...). Our Deltas and Sigmas were state renowned for there stepshow skills, comparable only to the Greeks from UofH. All the social stuff seemed cool... however.... before classes started for the Fall, the Martin Luther King Statue in the East Mall on campus was vandalized with spray paint. This was particularly shocking because the statue had been vandalized before (with eggs) and yet the security cameras monitoring the landmark weren't of high enough quality to come up with faces for the suspects... a crime unsolved.
As a result BSA (the Black Student Alliance) held a 24 hour candlelight vigil where students, faculty, staff, and community members actually "guarded" the statue as a peaceful protest to show the campus that we take the security of the landmark seriously. The daunting revelation to be found was that there were more non-blacks that cared than black students. This troubled me, seeing NOBODY present on a Wednesday Night, and seeing EVERYBODY present on the next day-Thursday Night for the Summer 04 Omega Probate. . . For the record, this is one of the tightest probates I've ever witnessed.
The probate was followed by a Delta party, where i saw some familiar faces because they DOMINATED BSA... I would later find out that they damn near dominated every organization. I couldn't tell if it was a good or a bad thing, but I'd find out before I graduated.
The next night, Saturday, there was a Kappa party at a relatively smaller/hotter venue... I didn't have fun. Later that night at IHOP when asked what I thought, I gave an honest response... and there started my pseudo-beef with the Nupes.
It didn't help that on the Tuesday of that week, I attended the annual Steps for Success program and thought I'd look good wearing a burgandy button up and khakis.... low and behold a gang of young men wearing the same outfit came in the room and I looked like a bop... I decided that it just wasn't my color anymore. (sad huh?) This was definitely the beginning of my love/hate relationship with Greek life... there was soooo much to admire, but it commanded so much attention that its exclusivity TRIED to demand that others changed. I was too used to being me to give a damn about that notion though.
Moving through the year...
I started going to organizational meetings weekly. BSA on Mondays, AACC (African-American Culture Committee) on Wednesdays, SAAB on Thursdays, Hip-Hop Culture whenever practice was, and I would've went to NSBL (would later become BBSA) meetings but they never planned one. I also would attend ANYBODY's events in the evening as long as I knew about it in advanced... I really made an attempt to be everywhere so I could experience and learn as much as possible... I'm addicted to learning (even if I hate reading). This would help me gain a position in BSA as the FIRST Freshman Action Team Chair... a position i chose over the opportunity to be Secretary of SAAB (which my friend and eventual LB Falil acquired). I also used my time to chair and help with a total of 5 programs in my first semester... this number would end up growing too high in the future... however, because I was in the exec board of a very influential organization I started to get alot of scoop, and this is where things get messy.
BSA assigned mentors for all of the freshmen. When we were paired, my mentor was not there... i found out later that night that he was "busy"... I won't say anymore than that, you know what i mean.... but as a first semester freshmen, I didn't need to know that... and I def didn't need to know who his linebrothers were... but I did.
By the end of the semester there were 3 new SGRhos, 1 new Sigma, 3 new-non-probated Alphas for the newly re-established chapter, and a rumor that there were additional young men who could call themselves "Alphas" but did no "busy" work to earn it. At this point I won't be coy, and I will paint a very succinct and vivid picture for how things were that year.... In NO WAY SHAPE or FORM was it acceptable to be "paper" at UT in 04-05. Not by Greek standards, not by "Non-Greek" standards. I personally don't believe it's everybody's business now, but back then, make no mistake about it, the campus climate made it so that it was.
Apparently, the community had a very profound attachment to the chapter that was absent due to allegations, and thus had no respect for whatever person(s), actions, or circumstances caused their suspension. This is actually non-biased, and I don't endorse or reject these notions... it just was what it was.
At any rate... I was blessed enough to have been a part of the Mr. DST Pageant, and I won it as a freshman... just days after my son was born, so that was cool. I was also able to help with and attend the "Black and White Affair" which was a student-run semi-formal ball for students who wanted to enjoy a mature time without leaving campus... it was a huge success. I ended up signing on to help the following year.
I went home for the break trying to process all of the new stuff I learned and all of the things that I've accomplished in hopes of trying to better my efforts in the next semester. Over the break, my mentor called to check on me, and I used this as my opportunity. I asked him about Alpha... lol... even though he had not probated yet, I forced the issue and try to pursue it as a freshman (I guess in an attempt to be like my best friend who crossed at UTA). I would later find out that they had no intentions of taking a new class of members until Spring 2006 (so you'll hear about that next time). So I basically used this time to strengthen myself and my resume so I could offer more to the community (as well as Alpha whenever I got the chance to join). The chapter was re-introduced to UT on the first Saturday in that February, there were 8 members.
For those who are trying to remember everything, this is also when i first started dating Brooke. ahhh... nostalgia. This new commitment (on top of a new son and everything else) would make me realize that I can't make everybody happy... even though I would still try.
On the first weekend back, I attended the SBSLC at College Station (google it if you dont know what it is). 1000 professional black students, alot of which were women, and a chance to learn more and meet more people... it was my dream. I would do it again at the Big XII conference in Boulder, Colorado not to long after that. I actually won Most Outstanding Freshmen in the Big XII that year which was nice... 2 $1000 Scholarships since being enrolled wasn't bad.
I was still active in BSA, AACC, SAAB, etc... etc... but it was now mid-February, which meant it would be the first time I noticed the mass-migration of individuals who were active with me in these orgs started to disappear or act differently... if you were in Umoja you saw it too. In total, 25 new members (33 if you count the Alphas) had crossed the burning sands since the new classes of the Fall. All BGLOs had at least 8 members, they were relatively strong. However, as they got stronger, the orgs that these individuals used to contribute to SUFFERED.
Right after Big XII, you would so NONE of the active workers in any of these organizations, with the only exception being BSA... but that was only due in part to the fact that they were exec board members and had to be there. This is when I started to establish my "assumption" theory, which I'll go into detail about in the next blog.
Once they were back on the scenes, you saw some of these Neos claiming new officer positions, and you saw others coming to meetings to show off their new accomplishment... in other cases, they only came to the meetings to vote for their line brother/sister in an election and push for a community power play. If these individuals did NOT run for or win a position, they were rarely ever seen at a meeting again unless it was to "pub"licize for an event that their new organization was throwing. You learn so much as a freshmen... that's why you really shouldn't pledge until you are a sophomore... These organizations were merely used as "stepping stones" to their "higher calling" if you will... I'd soon learn that they planned to keep stepping on others.
Unfortunately it wasn't all that I learned. I also learned that just because they're Greek, didn't mean they were actually leaders. BSA had 3 members of Delta on its exec board before the Spring, and by the end it had 4 (was supposed to be 5) all in the the top positions, and 2 on the new exec board of which i was also a member**. At the beginning of each semester, UT orgs are required to re-register themselves in order to have programs, reserve rooms, and have rights to campus resources. So as Chair of the FAT, I instituted a week in conjunction with NSBE's Freshmen Team. The BSA Exec was in charge of room reservations, which we needed early in order to design publicity for our programs. Unfortunately, and without most of us knowing, BSA had not been re-registered... all reservations for the year were coming from the rights of another somewhat related organization, which made it very inconvenient to get rooms reserved, in fact, they didn't get reserved.(yea... triflin)... Now it might seem like I'm airing out alot, but it shouldn't have happened if people didn't want others to know it happened, it is what it is.... sue me (of course after I write my book).
At any rate, I realized what kind of a chokehold BGLOs had on the community, and I also realized that anybody in the community was at chance/risk for becoming a part of these entities, even me (like an Agent in the Matrix). It was unfortunate that something I wanted to be a part of was something I semi-despised by the end of my freshman year... but i still wanted it... and i wanted to change it... so much so, that when I got the opportunity back in the Fall to show my lack of reverence for the Greek community, I showed my ass at a Greek/Non-Greek Discussion Forum... to my knowledge, there hasn't been another one on campus since.
I'm guessing it's because people actually believe there are valuable secrets or powers that shouldn't be shared with the people whom these BGLOs were meant to serve... or maybe they don't want to serve them, they just wanted to look good acting like it. I was determined to have as much influence to change as much as possible...**So I ran for BSA President as a freshman... it was against the constitution, but we hadn't followed the rules of the constitution all year, so I figured it wouldn't hurt to test its strength... sadly yet thankfully, I didn't win the election, lost by a tying vote, that the President didn't want to break... so they had somebody else change their vote... wack??? yea.
At any rate, I was handed an opportunity to lead as Parliamentarian of BSA, Co-Chair of the Black and White Affair, and as Programs Co-Chair of the Black Student Lock-In. I had solidified my foundations for my sophomore year... but I had also learned so much that I knew I wasn't prepared to actually change anything in a community that seemed intent on being stagnant.
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4 comments:
I fully endorse this blog, Tony.
This is real.
This is what the underclassmen need to read and understand.
They need to continue to read this as you enlighten them of the follies and evitable messiness that will occur during their tenure at UT. This is history. And with the facebook revelotuion [which took offf in '04] to assist, you can paint an understanding of our experience. We simply just got "word of mouth" and old news articles.
It seems that history will most likely repeat itself. But you obviously care to post this and not 'simply move on' like most other Black Alum. And although me and you were both in the mist of all this merely a couple of years ago...being able to call it out shows how much you've grown man. It also shows how, through GRACE, you've become a better, more complete man.
Feels good to blog your soul, doesn't it?
Good blog Tony. I certainly agree with all this. I also remember our FAT Chair election. Losing made me strong and also introduced me to how the "politics" worked on campus. Being introduced to this early in my college career help me succeed in other areas later. Again good stuff.
Great post.
When I came to UT in '02, I felt the same way as you. I thought the Welcome program was interesting as the folks there seemed to welcome me to UT by telling me how unfriendly and racist it was. Not that what they were saying wasn't true, but just doesn't seem like the right way to welcome someone to a university. I guess their point was that we as Blacks to have a strong community, support each other, be proactive, yadda yadda. I guess the rhetoric worked on me because I joined a few orgs like NAACP, Hip Hop Culture (which at that point was just people meeting to talk about hip hop), etc. I actually became secretary of NAACP as a freshman because I thought it was something truly important. However, in this position, I got to see that what many people called leadership, was simply disingenuous attempts to gain notoriety in order to move on to bigger and better things. It wasn't about helping or serving, it was about boosting your profile in order to become Greek or whatever you wanted to be.
What I always found interesting was the sheer amount of organizations dedicated to a small population. 6 greek orgs, NAACP, BSA, AACC, NSBE, Hip Hop and I remember a bunch more. Everyone had a place to propell themselves. Leadership was necessary though. There were always ugly racial incidents taking place and people would always give their support. That is, until the "cameras" were turned off and no more benefit could be gained. OR, until something like a party would come up and steal people's attention. I don't want to generalize Black Ut, because there were some really great and dedicated people. It was just so frustrating back then. I gotta give you props for perseverance. When I realized what was going on, I became an RA and dipped off the scene for a year and a half.
I popped back up in Spring of 2005 when I became a Sigma. Like you, I have a love/hate relationship with Greek life. Because of it, I have gotten to know a lot of wonderful people and been apart of some wonderful things. It has also shown me how ugly and divided we Blacks can be. College educated black men talking about fighting eachother, in some cases getting their asses whooped, jealousy, sabotaging others, womazing, and the list goes on. The female greeks were no better. All of us were supposed to be communityleaders, but many of us had our own selfish interests at heart. I always felt like, at UT, a lot of Greeks walked around with an undeserving sense of entitlement and accomplishment. Sure they survived a month and a half of punshishment, but that didn't mean much outside of the relatively small black community. Talk to most white greeks about Black greek life and you will see what I mean.
Man you really took me back. I remember walking through Jester as a freshman and having to deal with the inquisitive stares of Black folks trying to figure out who I was. I remember when everybody's meetings were held in the X Lounge. I remember the uproar over the impending Supreme Court Affirmative Action decision. I remember hearing about fights at Greek parties. Man, props for this post. I can't wait to read the next ones.
Langston
I have nothing but respect for this. People need to read and look at how everything happens over and over again. There is nothing new under the sun.
Get knowledge then get busy. I hope people will read this and then understand the necessity for change. There is no way the black community can repair itself if there is no knowledge or ACKNOWLEDGEMENT of the problem.
Bravo for being honest and caring enough to do smthg.
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