If this were my child.... I'd let her know that she sucks. QUIT LYING TO YA KIDS!!!
Friday, February 26, 2010
NSFW!!! - Careers for those with "challenged limbs"
The King's Law: There is a job for everybody.
Disclaimer: NSFW - Not Safe For Work... Ye Be Warned.
Make your father proud.... Be a stripper... even if you're missing a leg.
Have short arms... be an extra in a movie for Tyrannousaures Rex... or The Oblongs
Become a social event picture model... or a model for bust statues... (did they have to post 3 pictures? shoutout to @Nyechi for this)
Make a dance called "The Franky"
Or become a Limbo Champion...
Don't get mad at me for posting this, it's already on the internet, I'm just sharing it with you. #WIGTH (Why I'm going to Hell... "LOL Smiley Face?")
-King T
Thursday, February 25, 2010
Do you really need to (Re)Tweet that?
So we have this wonderful social network that's been popular for a little over a year now named twitter. Most of you find my blog because you follow me or one of my friends on there. The rest of you are lame and need to get a twitter account and/or follow me (@DatBoiTony).
After a year of observing how twitter is used, I've decided I would finally release my new mini-series...
The King's Law on Twitter.
IF YOU KNOW HOW TO USE TWITTER SKIP TO THE "SKIP TAG" BELOW
Today I will start with the basics. For those of you who don't know, twitter is an interactive RSS feed service that works on a request only basis; this means you can post all you want, but I dont have to read it unless I want to. Furthermore, you can "at-reply" people in your posts so that they know you are speaking directly to them. The only people who can read these posts are the poster, the person mentioned, and anybody who is following BOTH involved parties.
In order to interact more effectively two things must happen: You must follow more people, and more people must follow you. People will follow you for many reasons, the most obvious being because they know you, are entertained by you, or they think you are attractive. Conversely, people will unfollow/block you for a number of reasons as well... we will discuss those reasons that are seen as twitter violations on The King's Law.
Twitter is like a pedestrian crossing where everybody is walking, but you have a choice about which convos you want to eaves drop on. You can let other people follow/eavesdrop on you as well... eavesdropping is fun.
"SKIP TAG"
Seeing as though people post what they want, and those posts attract their followers, each person governs themselves according to what kind of following they want on twitter. But seeing that you cannot be active on twitter without followers, the first rule is as follows:
The King's Law: Twitter is meant for entertainment and information sharing... Don't run your followers away.
This is easier said than done... and alot of you would disagree with this rule and say "IF THEY DONT LIKE ME, THEY CAN JUST UNFOLLOW."... I will not refute this statement, but the following rules should be followed regardless, because otherwise you're just annoying... and because I said so (that's why it's The King's Law).
The Retweet (RT)
When I first saw RT, I thought it meant "Real Talk"... which is essentially what it should mean. The only things that should be RT'd are notable comments, comments that deserve a notable reply, and that's it.
The following is not necessary....
Nor is this next POS tweet.
Just because you are enjoying your convo with your followers, or the (absent) wisdom of Rev. Run, you don't have to share it with everybody else unless there's a real reason they need to read it too (real talk). Essentially your own tweets should only be shared with the same discretion... If your followers think "Love" is a suitable tweet then more power to you... but when people don't like your tweets, you're not allowed to throw a B.F. via twitter (especially if you're rich and have only been on for 4 days... quit being a little bitch... that doesn't go over well in jail... maybe if you stop tweeting like a ruh-tard we might be able to read it).
The King's Law: If you take everything you read on twitter seriously, #drinkbleach.
Sure you can connect with folk, find a way to escape work for a minute, take a trip down memory lane while reading Trending Topics, find out the exact time you favorite celebrity personality passed away (RIP Michael Jackson), or even send very sketch/questionable Direct Messages to people, but you shouldn't believe everything you read. Believe some of it... not all of it.... and definitely don't believe a message in your inbox that looks like this...
Which brings me to my closing point:
The King's Law: If you're still getting hacked off of social networks, #getshanked... these direct messages in my inbox are annoying.
After a year of observing how twitter is used, I've decided I would finally release my new mini-series...
The King's Law on Twitter.
IF YOU KNOW HOW TO USE TWITTER SKIP TO THE "SKIP TAG" BELOW
Today I will start with the basics. For those of you who don't know, twitter is an interactive RSS feed service that works on a request only basis; this means you can post all you want, but I dont have to read it unless I want to. Furthermore, you can "at-reply" people in your posts so that they know you are speaking directly to them. The only people who can read these posts are the poster, the person mentioned, and anybody who is following BOTH involved parties.
In order to interact more effectively two things must happen: You must follow more people, and more people must follow you. People will follow you for many reasons, the most obvious being because they know you, are entertained by you, or they think you are attractive. Conversely, people will unfollow/block you for a number of reasons as well... we will discuss those reasons that are seen as twitter violations on The King's Law.
Twitter is like a pedestrian crossing where everybody is walking, but you have a choice about which convos you want to eaves drop on. You can let other people follow/eavesdrop on you as well... eavesdropping is fun.
"SKIP TAG"
Seeing as though people post what they want, and those posts attract their followers, each person governs themselves according to what kind of following they want on twitter. But seeing that you cannot be active on twitter without followers, the first rule is as follows:
The King's Law: Twitter is meant for entertainment and information sharing... Don't run your followers away.
This is easier said than done... and alot of you would disagree with this rule and say "IF THEY DONT LIKE ME, THEY CAN JUST UNFOLLOW."... I will not refute this statement, but the following rules should be followed regardless, because otherwise you're just annoying... and because I said so (that's why it's The King's Law).
The Retweet (RT)
When I first saw RT, I thought it meant "Real Talk"... which is essentially what it should mean. The only things that should be RT'd are notable comments, comments that deserve a notable reply, and that's it.
The following is not necessary....
Nor is this next POS tweet.
Just because you are enjoying your convo with your followers, or the (absent) wisdom of Rev. Run, you don't have to share it with everybody else unless there's a real reason they need to read it too (real talk). Essentially your own tweets should only be shared with the same discretion... If your followers think "Love" is a suitable tweet then more power to you... but when people don't like your tweets, you're not allowed to throw a B.F. via twitter (especially if you're rich and have only been on for 4 days... quit being a little bitch... that doesn't go over well in jail... maybe if you stop tweeting like a ruh-tard we might be able to read it).
This same rule applies to the new formspring phenomenon. DO NOT publically reply to the kinds of questions you don't want to be asked, and then get mad that people are asking you those questions... this is mainly aimed at the women who entertain the thirsty ass dudes that only ask questions of sexual nature. What you follow, tweet, formspring is a reflection of your twitter personality... to quote The Matrix, it's the "mental projection of your digital self." Outside of yourself, and the people who know you personally, you can be get away with being whoever you want to be on twitter... this leads to the second rule du jour.
The King's Law: If you take everything you read on twitter seriously, #drinkbleach.
Sure you can connect with folk, find a way to escape work for a minute, take a trip down memory lane while reading Trending Topics, find out the exact time you favorite celebrity personality passed away (RIP Michael Jackson), or even send very sketch/questionable Direct Messages to people, but you shouldn't believe everything you read. Believe some of it... not all of it.... and definitely don't believe a message in your inbox that looks like this...
Which brings me to my closing point:
The King's Law: If you're still getting hacked off of social networks, #getshanked... these direct messages in my inbox are annoying.
That's all for now... More to come.
-King T
Killer???
I'm in love with the English language. We have so many words that we don't know what to do with them. For example... When we need to use the restroom for prolonged periods of time, we proceed to "Take" a dump as opposed to "Leaving" one... which is what we're really doing. Sometimes we'll create similes to describe situations by comparison... apparently sometimes it can be "cold as hell".
With all of this confusion about words, I can see why it is that somebody could be confused by the phrase "Killer Whale".... when I hear that, I automatically think "loveable sea creature that doesn't mind being held captive from its natural habitat". Thus... Never in a million years would I have expected the loveable Shamu to go on a murderous rampage (I think 3 murders counts as a rampage). Not even if this wasn't the first time that something like this had occurred.... or even the second time...
Well let's define this strangely ambiguous word...
kill·er (klr)
n.
1. One that kills: a disease that was a killer of thousands; a killer of new ideas.
2. Slang Something that is extremely difficult to deal with or withstand: an exam that was a real killer.
1. One that kills: a disease that was a killer of thousands; a killer of new ideas.
2. Slang Something that is extremely difficult to deal with or withstand: an exam that was a real killer.
adj.
1. Causing death or destruction: killer floods.
2. Slang Having impressive or effective power or impact; formidable: had a killer smile; made killer profits.
King's Law: If something is called a Killer... it probably kills muthafuckas.
The fact of the matter is you shouldn't fuck with anything that has the propensity to end your life. This "be ye warned" list should include but not be limited to:
• Killer Whales
• Killer Bees
• Serial Killers
• Killer Tofu
• Killer Pufferfish
• Dogs named Killer
• Killer Vick
• Killer OJ (as opposed to Football OJ)
• Jayson Williams
• The Police (if you're black)
Just food for thought... If Shamu could speak English I think he would be saying "I ain't a killer, but don't push me..."
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
