Yin and Yang:Michael Jackson and Marshall Mathers

I never got to write my post about Michael Jackson after his funeral... I really wish I had so that people could understand the sincerity of my diction as I compose this new edition of the King's Law for you viewing pleasure. But I will revisit everything that you need to know and respect about MJ before I make one of the boldest comparison

Michael is the greatest entertainer to ever walk this earth. He was bred to live and die in his craft. As a child, through an abusive paternal relationship, MJ was trained on how to control his vocal talents and contribute to a music catalogue that dwarfs some people's music library collections... the boy is bad.

The amazing thing about Michael was not only his ability to appeal directly to pop music audiences, but his ability to keep their attention over time. Michael is one of the best vocalist to ever record and definitely one of the best dancers to hit the floor. Michael Jackson changed the game, which is why you'll still hear impersonations of his music in present day interpolations, samples, and vocal presentations from artists such as The Neptunes, Justin Timberlake, Ne-Yo, Usher, and more than I care to list (because this blog isn't about them).

But looking deeper into who he is will tell a different story...

Michael not only was the greatest at his craft, he was a troubled individual. While he loved music, dancing, and his fans.. he hated the fame. He couldn't escape it. It's the reason why he built Neverland Ranch, to get away from external pressures and perceptions of how he chose to live his life at the time. While many argue he was a big kid in an old man's body, I think it has less to do with his mental maturity and more to do with his "life approach" if you will. Michael was very mature, you could tell this by looking at the lyrics in his song choice from the 80s on (when his solo career started to flourish because he stopped recording with "The Jacksons"). In "She's Out of My Life" he stated that "[he didn't] know whether to laugh or cry.... live or die, and it cuts like a knife..." The presentation of the words hit with a softer blow than you would expect just simply because of MJ's vocal range, however those lyrics show a darker side of his world that people seem to overlook. MJ realized the world wasn't perfect.... (this is huge)... however his reaction to this revelation was to approach it with the purest since of naivety that anyone had ever witnessed... he believed that if everybody acted as he did, the world would get better (i.e. Heal the World, Man in the Mirror, Will You Be There... etc.)

This is why MJ was getting caught up in the "messing with the babies" scandals... this is why he jumped into a fake marriage with Lisa Marie Presley... this is why he is truly a father to the kids he is raising, but we all know those aren't his babies (just like we know Forrest Jr. wasn't Forrest's baby in that movie.... Forrest and MJ are great historical figures, but those zygotes didn't form from their swimmers...sorry ya'll). He really thought he was doing no wrong.

Michael was so innocent that he was corruptable, in the sense that no one would EVER believe he could ever be THAT innocent, to the point that even he got fed up with it all. His "History" album, which was half greatest hits and half new releases, had alot of song on it that spoke to people not giving a fuck or him starting to not give a fuck in general... if you listen to it, it really sounds like Michael was trying to let everyone know that his career had finally gotten to a point that he couldn't take it anymore. It was true... because of the recurring allegations about child molestation, as well as because he was fully incapable of living what he considered a "normal" life, he became depressed....

Now look stage left.... We analyzed the good guy, but who's the bad guy? In EVERY situation there is a Yin and a Yang... very rarely do we get to see what the opposing force is, but today I'll conjecture that I found the menace that dares to compare lives with the late great King of Pop.

Enter Marshall Mathers... a young man from a major city (Detroit) that is as broke as Gary, Indiana ever dreamed to be... as a matter of fact, they dont even Dream much in Detroit. How does your city become historically recognized for building a technological innovation that we still use today, and yet it's one of the brokest cities in America... it doesn't help that Barry Sanders fucked their football franchise or that the Pistons gave false hope for the future with that recent Championship nobody speaks about anymore... it was a huge championship for the city, especially since they stole a 4-Peat from the "Shaq and Kobe" Lakers at the time... you would think that the team would get more respect... not likely...

The same could be said for Eminem... who if you think about it is just like MJ, just in different skin... Marshall is the best at what he does... let's get this clear. NOBODY can deliver lyrics over a beat like Em, people can't ever dare to copy his style because he switches it up between albums AND tracks unlike anybody else... he's more versatile than any lyricist still recording and on top of that, he's an actual fucking problem if he decides to battle you. Em's career started with battling his peers... the same flow he used to humiliate others and possible end their careers was used to record the sheer genius that is the Slim Shady LP... a CD that called its audience out for a battle.... aptly the public actually did respond with criticisms and jeers, however that was exactly what Em (as a battle rapper) wanted... now he had unlimited ammunition to keep the battle going on the Marshall Mathers LP, which is regarded by many to be a classic... at the very least it's a more-than-solid sophomore effort. What had become a solid fact at this point was that where MJ dared to be positive, Em promised to do wrong... he was the abrasive, offensive, yet talented antithesis of everything MJ had to offer.

It isn't until his third release "The Eminem Show" that we begin to actually learn who he is. With deep introspection and reflection we come to learn that (similarly to Michael Jackson) this man had dedicated his life to this craft, he had mastered it, he found a way to mass produce it for his followers, but he was also beginning to hate the fame. This of course didn't stop him from starring in a movie about his life and winning an Oscar for his writing.... this was before Three-Six... this put hip-hop on the front of the stage for a lot of people to view... he was actually bigger than Jay-Z for a moment... no exaggeration. The 8 Mile/Eminem Show combo was Marshall's "Thriller" if you will... his experimentation with new approaches to music that showed exactly how he had mastered the craft.

Sadly, Encore is what was released next... the album that actually expressed his distaste for the mandatory lifestyle that accompanied his career... this was Marshall's "History".... This was his lackluster effort... an effort that said "I'm kinda done with this shit..." and he was.... besides the few good singles from the album, it didn't get much positive attention... and after the touring and marketing was done pushing the album, he wouldn't release another one for 4 years.

So let's look back at this comparison... dont look at their accomplishments, only look at who they are...

Broke kids from broke cities, forced into music by their family obligations, giving them the chance to do what they love while simultaneously disallowing what they consider to be a normal life. They are highly regarded for their talents, loved and adored by their fans, so much so that people will fight tooth and nail to defend them even when they are making bad music. In fact they're so confident in what they do, one will make music about Zombies, and one will kill his daughter's mother... and they'll be loved for it. Nobody can make a song about random topics like these two... name somebody else who did...

OH... and because their "should be perfect, yet it's still imperfect" lives became so public and nobody understood why they were anguished.... they both became addicted to drugs.

Sadly one artist, on the eve of one his largest performance opportunities "This Is It", died as a result of that addiction... around the same time, the other artist was attempting to stumble back into the game after being emotionally drained by the death of his best friend. The result was "Relapse"... which was actually a decent effort in terms of delivery, but it definitely seemed as if he relapsed into his old shady antics with the lyrical content about incest-rape and murder... however, his delivery approach was new and innovative... and while it was vastly unappreciated by many, it still won a Grammy.

This is the setup for what I believe to be his BEST ALBUM to date... Recovery. Whereas Marshall Mathers is the Yang in the music world to the Yin being Michael Jackson, this album fully illustrates that point. The menace is back... still mentally conflicted and misunderstood yet inspired by the lack of positive response from his fans, he has become a mad scientist of sorts by dropping 17 (19 in the deluxe) tracks of straight lyrics... no long ass hooks, no fancy features (minus Wayne and Slaugherhouse)... just him showing to you why it is he is still in the position he is in.

He IS what MJ would be if he were evil and rapped instead of singing. He is dedicated, he is depressed, he is dominant, he is doomed to continue doing this until it kills him. Appreciate the music for what it is worth... you won't find another artist who is this honest about and with himself through his music, you won't find another story as with a more expected tragic end. While other artists retreat from giving their all and worry about what they will get from continuing, this artist continues to put forth efforts as if he's not only working to eat... but this is his meal. You can't ask for more from somebody who you put your support behind.

Now that MJ is gone, Em is what we have in the form of a pure entertainer... the man who lives his performance so that you can go on enjoying your life... the man who gave up his life so that the quality of his craft could be maximized. The pure and the corrupt... The Yin and Yang of our musical generation...

Why you should boo at Gospel Apollo acts

If this were my child.... I'd let her know that she sucks. QUIT LYING TO YA KIDS!!!

NSFW!!! - Careers for those with "challenged limbs"

The King's Law: There is a job for everybody.

Disclaimer: NSFW - Not Safe For Work... Ye Be Warned.

Who says that if you're given a raw deal, a bad hand... or even a bad leg, that you can't find a job in today's economy. Here are a few options that may be available to you.

Make your father proud.... Be a stripper... even if you're missing a leg.



Have short arms... be an extra in a movie for Tyrannousaures Rex... or The Oblongs



Become a social event picture model... or a model for bust statues... (did they have to post 3 pictures? shoutout to @Nyechi for this)






Make a dance called "The Franky"



Or become a Limbo Champion...

Don't get mad at me for posting this, it's already on the internet, I'm just sharing it with you. #WIGTH (Why I'm going to Hell... "LOL Smiley Face?")

-King T

Do you really need to (Re)Tweet that?

So we have this wonderful social network that's been popular for a little over a year now named twitter. Most of you find my blog because you follow me or one of my friends on there. The rest of you are lame and need to get a twitter account and/or follow me (@DatBoiTony).

After a year of observing how twitter is used, I've decided I would finally release my new mini-series...

The King's Law on Twitter.

IF YOU KNOW HOW TO USE TWITTER SKIP TO THE "SKIP TAG" BELOW

Today I will start with the basics. For those of you who don't know, twitter is an interactive RSS feed service that works on a request only basis; this means you can post all you want, but I dont have to read it unless I want to. Furthermore, you can "at-reply" people in your posts so that they know you are speaking directly to them. The only people who can read these posts are the poster, the person mentioned, and anybody who is following BOTH involved parties.

In order to interact more effectively two things must happen: You must follow more people, and more people must follow you. People will follow you for many reasons, the most obvious being because they know you, are entertained by you, or they think you are attractive. Conversely, people will unfollow/block you for a number of reasons as well... we will discuss those reasons that are seen as twitter violations on The King's Law.

Twitter is like a pedestrian crossing where everybody is walking, but you have a choice about which convos you want to eaves drop on. You can let other people follow/eavesdrop on you as well... eavesdropping is fun.

"SKIP TAG"

Seeing as though people post what they want, and those posts attract their followers, each person governs themselves according to what kind of following they want on twitter. But seeing that you cannot be active on twitter without followers, the first rule is as follows:

The King's Law: Twitter is meant for entertainment and information sharing... Don't run your followers away.

This is easier said than done... and alot of you would disagree with this rule and say "IF THEY DONT LIKE ME, THEY CAN JUST UNFOLLOW."... I will not refute this statement, but the following rules should be followed regardless, because otherwise you're just annoying... and because I said so (that's why it's The King's Law).

The Retweet (RT)

When I first saw RT, I thought it meant "Real Talk"... which is essentially what it should mean. The only things that should be RT'd are notable comments, comments that deserve a notable reply, and that's it.

The following is not necessary....

Nor is this next POS tweet.

Just because you are enjoying your convo with your followers, or the (absent) wisdom of Rev. Run, you don't have to share it with everybody else unless there's a real reason they need to read it too (real talk). Essentially your own tweets should only be shared with the same discretion... If your followers think "Love" is a suitable tweet then more power to you... but when people don't like your tweets, you're not allowed to throw a B.F. via twitter (especially if you're rich and have only been on for 4 days... quit being a little bitch... that doesn't go over well in jail... maybe if you stop tweeting like a ruh-tard we might be able to read it).

This same rule applies to the new formspring phenomenon. DO NOT publically reply to the kinds of questions you don't want to be asked, and then get mad that people are asking you those questions... this is mainly aimed at the women who entertain the thirsty ass dudes that only ask questions of sexual nature. What you follow, tweet, formspring is a reflection of your twitter personality... to quote The Matrix, it's the "mental projection of your digital self." Outside of yourself, and the people who know you personally, you can be get away with being whoever you want to be on twitter... this leads to the second rule du jour.

The King's Law: If you take everything you read on twitter seriously, #drinkbleach.

Sure you can connect with folk, find a way to escape work for a minute, take a trip down memory lane while reading Trending Topics, find out the exact time you favorite celebrity personality passed away (RIP Michael Jackson), or even send very sketch/questionable Direct Messages to people, but you shouldn't believe everything you read. Believe some of it... not all of it.... and definitely don't believe a message in your inbox that looks like this...

Which brings me to my closing point:

The King's Law: If you're still getting hacked off of social networks, #getshanked... these direct messages in my inbox are annoying.

That's all for now... More to come.

-King T

Some Real Killers...

Killer???

I'm in love with the English language. We have so many words that we don't know what to do with them. For example... When we need to use the restroom for prolonged periods of time, we proceed to "Take" a dump as opposed to "Leaving" one... which is what we're really doing. Sometimes we'll create similes to describe situations by comparison... apparently sometimes it can be "cold as hell".

With all of this confusion about words, I can see why it is that somebody could be confused by the phrase "Killer Whale".... when I hear that, I automatically think "loveable sea creature that doesn't mind being held captive from its natural habitat". Thus... Never in a million years would I have expected the loveable Shamu to go on a murderous rampage (I think 3 murders counts as a rampage). Not even if this wasn't the first time that something like this had occurred.... or even the second time...

Well let's define this strangely ambiguous word...

kill·er (klr)

n.
1. One that kills: a disease that was a killer of thousands; a killer of new ideas.
2. Slang Something that is extremely difficult to deal with or withstand: an exam that was a real killer.

adj.
1. Causing death or destruction: killer floods.
2. Slang Having impressive or effective power or impact; formidable: had a killer smile; made killer profits.


King's Law: If something is called a Killer... it probably kills muthafuckas.

The fact of the matter is you shouldn't fuck with anything that has the propensity to end your life. This "be ye warned" list should include but not be limited to:

• Killer Whales
• Killer Bees
• Serial Killers
• Killer Tofu
• Killer Pufferfish
• Dogs named Killer
• Killer Vick
• Killer OJ (as opposed to Football OJ)
• Jayson Williams
• The Police (if you're black)

Just food for thought... If Shamu could speak English I think he would be saying "I ain't a killer, but don't push me..."

Fictional Fancy

She’s a comic book character, a superwoman of sorts,
She’s the product of a fantasy and fantastically her being is real,
But can I trust that this authenticity that I see will ever be part of my reality?

In the midst of the shambles and the helter skelter
My mind wilts as my fate rescinds its bloom, by faith I might be doomed
To believe that it all may improve; jagged edges we wait to be smoothed.

In dreams my soul is soothed, in truth my heart is ruled,
I offered it in one piece, I just pray it doesn’t return to me fractured,
I’m caught up in the rapture, and if I’m lucky this fantasy will reveal itself to be true.

Will I ever know if this was just for show, an exhibition of my desire’s depth,
Would it behoove to exhale, I shall I hold me breath?
Until the truth finds me, my fantasy’s of superwoman are all I have left.