Time Machine: Control or Submission? pt 7 (Fall 06)

So the last post was mainly a composition of campus life issues, this one will be more a compilation of remembered ratchetness. This recap might bring up older history issues as well, but these events also shaped how the community would be perceived by non-student populations on campus in the near future.

Fall 05 was fun for the reasons it was fun, but it also started trends of randomness that would become commonplace... not to a point where things were expected to happen, but when it did happen it didn't surprise anybody. The reason for this is that there was a significant increase in the amount of community sources-of-information (gossipers) as time went on.

Now don't get me wrong, there were always gossipers at UT, but it's at a different level when random people are given secret insight into how Greeks are (not) running their organizations correctly... people shouldn't go that far... and it shouldn't be spread thereafter just because you learned it. I've always had a knack for getting THE scoop (yes THEEEEE scoop) since I stepped on the campus, as I used to say "I keep my ear to the streets, that's where the dirt is...", but the kind of info I was able to get as time passed by, was evidence in itself that we were going downhill.

I digress... events that are commonplace. I'm assuming it started when somebody got shot on campus back in Fall 05... it was that plain and simple, we didn't know who it was, or who did it... wasn't in the news for real, not on CNN at all... but somebody got shot. After that things just tended to fly by our faces when they happened.

All of the fights, all of the altercations, all of the (beginnings of) Facebook messiness just accumulated to the point that nobody ever stopped to think how odd it was that the most vulnerable/questionable characteristics of our community were being observed by all. There was no longer a question of our "community"s validity in terms of unity... There was none.

By the time the CAAAS sponsored Mac Computers in the X-Lounge were stolen in Summer 06, nobody could defend any of it... nor did we attempt to... we just let it happen

Many felt more should be done about building the concern for one another in the community... Many also felt that each persons issues and how they dealt with them in college are a personal problem that as a community we don't need to address... Both types of people could be found in leadership positions.

There was one particularly funny incident in BSA where a co-sponsorship was agreed upon without proper planning. As Pres, I was whole-heartily against the program, to the point that I cussed out my exec board for pushing it through without knowing what we'd be doing.... This wasn't a mark against the cosponsoring org, it was an internal mistake.

At any rate, a plan was drawn up for "MisKonceptions of the Black Community", and in the plan was a improvisational staging of a community disaster.... Somebody was supposed to run in the room and tell everybody that Chad Stanton had been hit by a car... As a result people would've immediately felt a blast of concern and began asking questions... And then Chad would pop up. I don't know why this ever sounded like a good idea, apparently somebody else thought the same thing... Lol... The program started and went along its agenda w/o Chad's accident being announced... He was sitting in a separate room for about 30 minutes before anybody told him we decided not to "kill him".... So he just looked ultra late to the program. In the end, it was a very decent program.... the program discussed aspects of student (academic), social, spiritual, and adult life as college students in separate groups and the conclusions were discussed by the entire room in the end. It was a good dialogue, but as most "talking" isn't fully effective, the campus wouldn't be any different after the program.

Meanwhile back at home (apt. 924 aka the "G-Spot"... I didn't come up with that name), life was good. I lived with 3 people who I can say have had a profound impact on my college life, and life in general. This apt has more memories than I can share... But what was most remarkable was the network of people who ended up stopping through and taking advantage of out open-door policy. I keep in touch with all of those people to this day, and they are the primary followers and motivation behind my blog.

Back on campus, the significance of some orgs was in question... Some that should never be questioned... AACC had recently lost control of Black Essence Week, which was the the unifying black history event for the community in February. We haven't done a "Project Makeover: Church Edition" in a minute. I always thought it was trash that the program was essentially usurped from AACC by CAAAS... especially when most faculty under their umbrella does not like the title "Black Essence" because as educators of the concept of the Black Diaspora, they don't beleive in "Black Essentialism"... that may be a little beyond the point, however I always enjoy things more when they are student ran and controlled.

Another transition in AACC was the introduction of their new advisor. The former advisor, Crystal King, started working more exclusively with the SEC (Student Events Center), the organization that houses the 10 cultural committees including AACC. The new Advisor, Xavier, came in fresh from a position at Baylor where he worked as an advisor. Honestly, I never knew what direction he wanted to help AACC go towards. The issue with AACC, as it was told to me by others, became a switch of focus. The purpose of AACC is to provide programming to the campus that reflects Black culture. Because they are given a fairly large budget, AACC can throw programs that other Black orgs cannot (i.e. concerts, comedy shows, speakers, Soul Nights, etc.). Students within the committee felt the money was best spent on the community alone as opposed to campus wide programming because if the money were to be kept in house it'd be more useful. This wasn't just a trend this year, it had been one since I was a freshman. The decreasing of AACC's budget when they brought Louis Farrakhan was the beginning... the lack of attendance from Black students at events there after gave the SEC uppers more reason to keep cutting the AACC budget to where they could only do large scale programs if they were co-sponsored. IT'S NOT ALWAYS THE STUDENTS FAULT WHEN SHIT AINT RIGHT... But it did eventually get to a point where all of AACC's programming was solely meant for the Black community only, which is not a function of the SEC.

NSBE on the other had has always moved towards its purpose... most would attribute this to the fact that they fall underneath a national governing body and everybody that is active pays dues annually (to their chapter and to the national organization). Furthermore, they actually help get people jobs through their networking, and it never hurt that they fed all of their members at the meetings. Too bad there weren't any other national organizations on campus that.... wait.... nevermind.

Beyond unapproved business moving forward, the BSA exec board also had its further issues... like some people really had real issues. The kind of issues that a doctor needed to be consulted about, and that I nor any other student can fix. Health (specifically mental health... via depression) is something that is vastly ignored in the Black community. This isn't a result of our culture as students, this has been a phenomenon for a long time. It's just amplified in this microcosm of a real community that we call Black UT... for us, it got to a point that we couldn't ignore it because it was affecting our internal business. The individual in question would eventually resign from the exec board. Now here's where a dilemma is approached. How much is the community supposed to care? and how much is too much? where does personal responsibility factor into the equation? I think ultimately, everybody is responsible for themselves, but it's still the community's job to foster the growth, health, and goals of those that are within it.... why do I feel that way? because the "community" has no problem TAKING from those individuals, but it has a problem genuinely GIVING back...
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Black and White happened again... but this would be the last time it would (sad...). This time the event was held at the Rec Sports Center, whereas in the past it was in the San Jacinto Multipurpose Room. We were really partial to using those dorm facilities because they were new to campus my freshman year, and we wanted to make sure we had access to the newer parts of campus. This year, the entire budget was sponsored by Dr. Vincent in the VP's Office for Diversity and Community Engagement (still the current name). This is back when people on campus didn't have ill feelings about his policies or his policy changes. (HISTORY: B&W came about when SAAB was invited to a semi-formal by the Black Men/Women United organizations at Texas State Univ in San Marcos. We adapted B&W to be something like what they had shown us... a good time)

As mentioned in the last blog, there wasn't an AKA line this semester. Long story short... there was one, and it didn't finish. The popular tale would be that one individual decided that the "busy" work wasn't for her, "dropped" and reported it, thus deciding that it wasn't for anybody else either. This individual was well decorated in terms of her resume (I imagine her resume upon graduation was actually quite beasty). What she would ultimately be remembered for however would be her "selfish" decision that affected not only her, not only her former linesisters and big sisters... but the entire campus as a result of what impact it would have on Greek Life.

In the midst of all the drama, one thing that we as students always knew how to do well was party. At Apt. 924, we had 2 house parties, both named after the monikers I gave to the beverages I created. The first was called "Messed up or F!@#ed up"... cuz you were drinking one or the other... but there really was no difference in potency between them... the most memorable party was called...
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Just Because or For a Reason

This was a fun/funny/tragic/"fill in the blank" ass party. It started as a small convo in Jester with somebody... who told somebody... and by the time I came back to Jester from class, everybody was asking about the party that was supposed to go down... so it had to happen.

I got help from some friends to help put it together, we had two gatorade containers full of punch, and half a keg that magically found its way to the apartment patio before the night got started... and I made a mix of songs on my iPod and placed my computer speakers in the living room. It ended up being what i believe to be the best party of the semester (i'm biased). It's never a problem when people can come together, have fun, have a few drinks and depart happy and safe... (i repeat ". . .") That didn't happen here.

A small list of issues with this party:

1. It didn't stay in one place, my downstairs neighbors definitely had to open their doors to welcome the overflow of ratchetness from the party.
2. TJ's toilet somehow flooded over... who was in his room?
3. Somebody vomited chicken pieces on my floor, they didn't even look chewed up, I could still tell it was chicken... disgusting.
4. Somebody got drunk too fast and crashed in my bed... I'd later find vomit in that place too. I'm glad I had a mattress cover.
   
5. Everybody took advantage of my private stash of alcohol to take shots... we were cleaned out by the end of the night.
6. Somebody threw up in Falil's room (he doesn't play that shit... and a bit of culture for those who dont know much about Islam. The place where Muslims pray is a sacred/good place, and Falil's room had essentially been violated... until it was cleaned properly, he wouldn't feel right praying in there... I'm just saying...don't say we didn't sacrifice to make people happy).
7. Somebody threw up behind the couch and hid it.... and didn't tell anybody
8. 4 people passed out like it was an MJ concert and had to be carried downstairs
9. A few people went outside to fight (not a real fight), and ended up mud wrestling.
10. Some people started getting uber-drunken-emotional...
11. One of them was taken to my bathroom to shed off some steam... she subsequently fucked up everything in my bathroom... and I actually had a nice bathroom set... shit was broken and flung all over the place in there.... I told her to get out of there, i had no sympathy.
12. She then proceeded to try and jump off of the (2nd floor)balcony... She apparently didn't want to live anymore, but she didn't realize the fall wouldn't kill her. There wasn't enough height and on top of that, there were bushes to provide a soft landing for her had she jumped...somebody stopped her, and then she passed out too and was carried out.
13. Some people were too incapacitated to leave, so our living room became a free hotel.
14. Both Falil and I had to find alternate places to sleep that night...
    

All in all, it was a great party, but our apartment was officially retired from throwing them any longer. Luckily, no cops came, nobody was hurt, and we had some great friends who helped clean up afterwards... Thank you friends. We realized although we can always feel we were in control of what we were doing, we really aren't...
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Control v. Submission

I'll close this entry by discussing two concepts. I won't bother defining them, I'll just discuss them.

In our community, we are always striving for control over something, whether it's the quality of our unity or it's "the yard". At the end of the day, I think that we never have had control... even those who seemed to have the most influence and actually could change the outcome or result of a situation, were actually not in control.

Why? because of what we submit to. Some actually submit themselves to organizations... and some submit themselves to people in those organizations thinking that they are in control. The truth of the matter is that most people on our campus are submitting themselves to non-tangible entities (i.e. tradition, unity, passion)... how is it that people sacrifice their control to something that cannot be controlled because it is never truly defined? Do we no longer have goals? purposes? benchmarks? or do we fly by the seat of our pants and as long as we can smile about something we charge the rest to the game (submitting to circumstance).

Alcohol is a good way to express this relationship... somebody is interested in drinking, they've never done it before, but they've seen others do it, or have heard that it does positive things to you. However, this person has also seen people who cannot hold their liquor and thus wants to control their drinking. But them being a novice leads to overdrinking and thus their submission to their condition. Where did they lose control???? The truth is they lost control when they considered doing it in the first place.

Our community doesn't know where it is going simply because we cannot define what we are submitting to any longer. We really are just going through the motions... carrying on traditions, re-doing programs, submitting to "busy" work assuming that this traditions etc. were ever fully controlled. But if we are college aged adults, and we're having issues with a community identity crisis, what leaves us to believe that this shit was ever perfect??? What leads us to believe that we were ever in control and that we're continuing the control of our traditions, when in fact we could just be perpetuating our submission to them...There is NOTHING new under the sun. It has all been done, and that's not the problem...

The problem is that nobody can LOGICALLY/RATIONALLY defend why we do any of it anymore.

And I'll pick up from there... the irrationality of disunity.